Last Night I was thinking

I was driving to Heartbeat (Crisis Pregnancy Center) where I am a Board Member and was going to the monthly meeting. I had been struggling with feeling like its time to let go of this part of my life and ministry, I was downcast about having to go. As I prayed for Heartbeat and what it is I am to do, it came to me to pray for all the board members, staff and volunteers, the unity and His love for all of us.


As I was praying God revealed himself to me. He is not in heaven looking down, and I don't have to keep looking up for Him to see me in hopes that He will answer my call. He is in me, in front of me, behind me, I am never alone, when I cry, He cries too. At that moment I knew He understood my heart and I received His peace He gently offers. I handed my involvement with Heartbeat over to God to work out. As for now I'm to stay put and to continue on as He needs me too. I'm good with that! It's called blind faith, I don't have to have an answer and I don't have to be anything special, just walk with/in Him, do as He asks, when He asks, and not to worry about anything, He already has the plan. What a relief! Whew!


Later I was struggling with another situation, a costly Weeblo Camp for Jon , having to take time off work. I felt my hand being pushed into the commitment but at the same time my hearts desire was for Jon to receive the awesome experience the camp would provide him. I had a tug-a-war raging inside of me of all it involved. I then prayed to God and He helped me to realize that I don't have to figure anything out.


I handed the whole thing over to Him. Low and behold, He is faithful, I got a call this morning that re-organized the whole situation and everyone is in a winning position. Cost was reduced, no time lost at work, and the boys still get the experience of Weeblo camp. What an awesome and powerful God He is. Who would have known the answer would come outside of myself through another person who is not even a believer.
Amen! I think I like this letting go stuff.

Psalm 139
1 O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
2 You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off.
3 You comprehend my path and my lying down, And are acquainted with all my ways.
4 For there is not a word on my tongue, But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.
5 You have hedged me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; It is high, I cannot attain it.
7 Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?
8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
9 If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,” Even the night shall be light about me;
12 Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, But the night shines as the day; The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
13 For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.
17 How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them!
18 If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You.